So as I have kept mentioning in my posts I have had issues with both of my flatmates. One of these is my best friend who is a medical doctor. As a consequence he has been taught to believe that being overweight is unhealthy. He argues that if you walk through any heart disease ward everyone in their is overweight. He has told me that if anyone wants to lose weight they can. He says it is just willpower.
Because this is not my personal philosophy it is very hard to hear this from him. His opinion does matter to me because I respect him (99% of the time). But I believe that losing weight is not a choice. The evidence for this is the fact that 99% of diets fail. To me this suggests a biological set point that your body will return too given time. Also this is not unhealthy. Many studies show that being overweight does not increase your chances of heart disease (as he mentioned). So as usual we had another argument in which I tried to make him understand my way of thinking. I argued that fat people do not have a choice and he argued that they do. This argument continued on and on and on with both of us ending up feeling very frustrated. But then….
Finally I turned to him and I said that I agreed that, technically, if fat people stopped eating then yes they would lose weight. So it was possible. But it was NOT possible without severely disordered thinking. Studies show that people who maintain long-term weight loss find it extremely hard work and they need to continuously count calories, exercise and weigh themselves every day. These characteristics are desired by most dieters and are considered as an indicator of having strong willpower. But to me it sounds more like someone with a highly disordered way of thinking about their weight. What ‘normal’ person weighs, counts and exercises every day and maintains that staying at their current weight is hard work! I stated to him that this type of disordered thinking requires an obsession with food and involves depression, anxiety and guilt. Studies show (but cant find it) that people who give up on dieting have higher self esteem and less depression. I ended my argument with this. From a medical doctors point of view imagine if a patient comes to you with a ‘problem’. They tell you that they can cure this problem with highly obsessive and disordered thinking. That this thinking could be potentially quite mentally unhealthy. Yet there was scientific evidence to suggest that the problem in question was actually perfectly normal and not unhealthy. BUT popular media tells you that it is unhealthy. I asked what he would suggest? He said “Ok I can see where your coming from now”.
Later on that day we were sitting on the couch and he turned to me and he said “I think you just love your food. Your a foodie. You shouldn’t worry about losing weight your fine just the way you are. I think you should keep on doing what your doing”. This was completely out of the blue and it was really awesome to hear that. Later on my other flatmate mentioned how she wanted no fat put in her meal and he made a remark about how she was acting obsessed. So its nice to know that in some small way I slightly changed his thinking. Im happy with that.
It is therefore very important to create a balance between exercise, rest and diet to stay healthy and fit. Exercising too much and eating too little will not do you any good so forget about reducing your food and fluid intake to reduce your body size and weight fast. You will get sick if you do that.
Awesome! I wish you could talk to MY doctor!
Very good post… though I still am not entirely sure your flatmate gets it, at least it seems like he’s trying.
The point is that we should all be “foodies!” Food is a required part of life, and it can be highly enjoyable. We’ve twisted it into this awful ugliness of “good” vs. “bad” and made it something it never should’ve become.
I think you did an excellent job of explaining the major problem with diets. It is impossible to do them without being obsessed. Everything becomes about food… you can’t really eat much of it, or what you want of it, so every waking moment you spend counting calories or Points and obsessing over what every morsel weighs or when you next should or have to eat and what you should or have to eat when you do decide to eat again.
It’s crazy. It’s not a “lifestyle change,” it’s a freakin’ lifestyle. One I never want again, I might add.
Juliet - I agree that he didnt totally get it. But trust me even a small change in his opinion was a momentous move. He was quite harsh on fat people before. Whereas yesterday (after I posted) I started telling him about the research that shows that fat people are not more prone to heart attacks. He totally agreed with me and said it is all about health. Whereas before he would have argued that point. So I am happy with even that small change. I mean he will never understand because he has never had to lose weight but at least he accepts what I say as a truth. At this point thats all I can ask for.
Wow Dan, Sounds like he actually listened to you…even if he doesn’t get it totally at least you made him think.
Donna - Yeah he is a really great guy and is amenable to a convincing argument. It meant a lot that he understood. Im sure part of him doesn’t understand but I don’t expect him too ‘get it’ completely. But intellectually speaking I think he understands what Im saying. I guess its a bit like how you can intellectually understand what it would be like to go to space but unless you have done it you would never truly understand. Strange analogy but oh well.
[...] 29, 2008 by Dan Arrgghh. So I finally convinced my best friend/flatmate that dieting was bad (see post). Well kind of. But now I have to battle with our other flatmate. She is even harsher and is not [...]